Ever After
by Luca-Pacheco
Summary: Deb's life has changed forever, and Dexter's with it. Now it's time to make a decision. Debster.
1. Ding Dong

Ding dong, LaGuerta is dead. The threat was gone by Deb's hand, but she wasn't happy about it at all and neither was I. We let us be seen at the New Years' Eve party long enough to have a plausible alibi, then we excused ourselves, saying Deb was tired and I wanted to be with my son, and left.

Her hands were cold, her stare was vacant and she didn't speak one word during the whole trip. She was practically catatonic. When we arrived home, Deb let me hold her hand and lead the way without protest and barely walking: I even thought about carrying her in my arms, she was so fragile I was afraid she would break or vanish into thin air like a ghost.

As soon as we were at the door, Deb let out a gasp that let me know she was, in fact, still alive and among us.

"Hannah", she whispered.

"What about her?" I asked, and then I saw it: a black orchid, otherwise exactly like the white one Hannah McKay had given me months ago. Could it be...? My thoughts went to Harrison. I opened the door as quickly as I could, and once we were inside, I was greeted by Mr. and Mrs. Holland, our friendly neighbors, who had agreed to watch over my boy for Jamie.

"Hello, Dexter!" Said Helen, "Harrison was asking for you, but he finally fell asleep. Not even the fireworks could wake him up"

Well, that was one less thing to worry about.

"Hi Helen! Hi Roy!" I said, "Could I ask you one last favor? Could you please bring Harrison to my bed? It's just, my sister is a little tipsy and I don't want to leave her alone, but I don't want to leave Harrison alone tonight either..."

"Don't worry," Roy said. "We'll bring him. You take care of your sister."

Once Harrison was safely tucked in my bed, I bid the neighbors goodbye, giving them the orchids as a thank you for their time. They loved them, they didn't know they were bad omens after all.

"Come here, Deb. Let's get changed and get some sleep", I said. I had never seen her so vulnerable, not even when she found out about who I am. She looked at me, but it felt more like she looked through me to some point in space. I took off her dress, shoes and bra, and helped her into one of my t-shirts. Dearly Damaged Debra, so beautiful and so broken, never that obedient to me since we were very little, and even then she challenged me from time to time. What had I done to her? What had I turned her into?

I went to the kitchen and came back with a glass of water. "Here, drink this", I said. She did as I told her, no questions, even though she grimaced a couple of times. Then she fell down on the bed next to Harrison, while I barely caught the glass.

"Sorry about the M99. Tomorrow we'll get something better suited for humans", I whispered in her ear and kissed her temple. I was sorry for much more, but at the moment, letting her get some rest was the only thing I could do something about. I wasn't gonna get any sleep. With everything that had happened, I could only be okay watching over my sister and my son, the two people I love, and making sure they were safe at least for the night.


	2. No Dead Person is Bad

It was three days since the event until we received the fateful text message. I decided to go there with my fucking best impression of confidence: Dexter had taken care of the crime scene after all, or so I remembered.

When I arrived, I found somber faces all over the place.

"What happened?"

"It's LaGuerta", was all Masuka said. His voice trembled, and he looked like he was struggling to hold back tears. So did everybody else. No newborn is ugly and no dead person is bad. Sneaky politics, ass-kissing and all, she was still one of us.

I went into the container and, sure enough, there were Estrada's and LaGuerta's bodies, albeit in slightly different positions from that night. An unbearable sense of guilt washed over me. I covered my mouth and had to step outside the crime scene and sob.

Dexter ran beside me and touched my arm.

"It's gonna be o.k.", he said.

My first instinct was to yank my arm away, which I immediately regretted.

"I... I just need a moment. This is some fucked up shit, Dex."

"I know, I know."

Back at the container, I put on my "solemn grief" face and hoped it was believable enough. I asked one by one what they had found, and they all said the same: the evidence was consistent with a struggle and a mutual murder. They fought, ended up with each other's arms, LaGuerta stabbed Estrada, and he shot her dead just before dying himself. Dexter really knew how to create the narrative of a crime. I was impressed and kinda horrified at the same time. He never stopped looking at me and, for some reason, he looked to me like he was feeling the same way.

I saw somebody arguing with a couple of uniforms, begging them to let him in. It was Batista.

"He's one of us, let him in", I told the cops, and they did.

"Where's Maria? How's she?" Angel asked, and I realized he didn't really know what was going on. I looked at him and gave him a hug. He cried like a baby.

-00-

It was a closed casket funeral (her body was already in a stage of decomposition), with all the high honors that a highly ranked member of the Miami Metro Police and representative of the Cuban community deserved. I wondered if my brother, who was holding my hand, or me, would get to have that luxury whenever we died.

After the priest talked and before she was buried, the high honchos of Miami gave their speeches, even the major of the city. I was asked to give the eulogy myself but I declined, claiming I was too shocked by the event, and anyway, if someone had to give the eulogy, it was Angel Batista, since he was the closest thing she ever had to a family.

Angel spoke, and anyone who hadn't met LaGuerta before would have thought she was perfect by listening to his words. Assertive, loving, devoted to her community, a dotting wife and a great friend, who died in the pursuit of justice. Only he, who saw her through the lens of love, could have meant it.

A choir of kids sang as each of us put a white rose on the casket and then it went down under the ground. It was all designed to make us miss her; to remember what a big hole she let in this world and, above all, to remind us of what a motherfucking ass of a bastard her murderer was. Message received.


	3. Urges

"What were you thinking, Dex?"

"What were *you* thinking? You were putting yourself in danger out there!"

"I was fuckin' fine until you went there and punched him in the face! You seemed like a maniac! Thank fuck I already had what I needed to arrest him, or I would've had to kick your ass into the sun!"

Deb was right. I had lost my temper: a rather undignified move, very unlike myself; but I just couldn't bear to watch as she went there alone with a drug dealer in a pair of shorts and a translucent shirt. It was truly her sex suit 2.0. and, as a male, I had to admit it was a very successful one, which was exactly what had me so worried. That's why I had decided to get out of the car and see what what going on, and I didn't like what I saw.

"He was coming onto you! I exclaimed. "He was being... Disrespectful."

"No, he wasn't... yet... besides, I spent many years undercover as a hooker. I know how to defend myself. I don't need you to baby me just because of... You know, what happened", she said.

"I know that. But you're Lieutenant Morgan now, you don't need to throw yourself at danger like this. This isn't funny at all."

"Yes I do! I need to do this! I need to catch the bad guys, I need to keep myself busy so I don't go fucking crazy thinking about LaGuerta and how fucked up I am. Why are you looking me like that? Why are you looking at me so weird lately?"

"I didn't know you could do it"

"Do what?" She asked.

"Put the mask on"

"Are you high? What mask?"

"The normalcy mask. When we were at the crime scene, you had it on perfectly, and you've done it ever since. Sometimes I look at you and you seem... Different. More like..."

"Like you."

"No, not like me! Behind your mask there's a human, a conscience. LaGuerta was right: you're a good person, and she would've thrown you under the bus no matter what. You're not a killer."

"But I am, Dex", she said, a couple of tears streaming down her face. "I killed an innocent person, there's no turning back now"

And she was right again, as much as I hated it.

"Precisely," I answered. "There's no turning back. We're bound. We're in this together now, whether we like it or not. That's why I have to keep an eye on you."

She looked at me with an unreadable expression on her face, but she didn't say anything more. We drove to her house in complete silence. I knew she knew exactly what I meant: leaving each other behind was not an option anymore, the fate of one was tied to the fate of the other, and whenever one would go, the other would have to go too.

-ooo-

I didn't always try to protect my dear sister against my life and my truth. There was a time when I was young and foolish, and thought I was invincible. Harry gave me a rough wake-up call back then.

It was a sunny Sunday. I was 15 years old, Deb was 13, and my parents weren't home. We found it easy to go to the marina and ride the Slice of life. Harry had taught me how, and I taught Deb that day. She wanted to feel free, to feel like she could escape her responsibilities, the household where she was largely ignored, and the school where the girls taunted her for being a tomboy: She didn't want to suffer anymore. I wanted to escape the Code, I wanted to feel something, to be myself at last.

I looked at her: she looked beautiful with her hair dancing against the salty wind; peaceful and, more importantly, completely trusting of her big brother. An urge had been rising within me for some time. She turned and smiled to me, proud of what she was able to do. Everything was going according to plan, she was practically in my hands. After all, we were in alone in the middle of the ocean: sure nobody would find out, at least not until it was too late.

I was wrong. The coast guard came to our rescue, along with Harry, who looked pale like a ghost.

"Thank God you're okay! I thought something had happened to you guys!" Harry said, wrapping both of us in a hug. "Don't do this to me again. I'll take you for a ride more often, okay?"

We were escorted back to the marina, and then Dad drove us back home in complete silence. Dad sent Deb to greet Mom, while he and I had a chat "man to man", as he said. She pouted in protest, but obeyed reluctantly. Once we were alone, he turned to me, and his face turned from pale to a very angry shade of red.

"What were you gonna do out there?" He asked.

"We wanted to go for a ride on the boat"

"And eat steaks and sodas, Deb already told me that. You know what I mean. What were you gonna do to your sister, Dexter? Don't you dare lie to me"

"I would never hurt her, I swear", I said sincerely. He took me by the arms and stared at me, like his eyes wanted to pierce through a non-existent soul. He spoke very slowly, to make sure I understood each and every word that came out of his mouth.

"You were alone with Debra in the middle of nowhere, on a boat, with a set of knives. Dexter, don't tell me you didn't have plans."

I noticed then that the floor was very interesting. "I had plans," I confessed. "But not that kind, I swear."

"What did you wanna do, then?"

"I wanted to tell her the truth and run away to Puerto Rico on the boat."

"Are you insane? You're children! You can't just run away from home! Besides, with what money? What were you gonna do once you were there? Did you think of your poor mother and me, worrying to death about you two? Did you think of your sister, what she would do if you told her who you are? She would hate you! She's not a killer! You didn't think this through, did you?"

The truth is, I had. I had a few years' worth of savings, and fake for me and my sister; but I knew telling that to Harry would've only made him angrier, so I chose not to.

"She would understand! She wants to catch bad guys..." I replied. Suddenly, an idea sprang into my mind. "You could teach her the Code, like you're teaching me! We could train together and learn how to shoot and be partners..."

"... In crime? Dexter, I'm gonna say this once, and I want you to remember it for the rest of your life: as long as I'm alive, I will never let that happen, and neither should you once I'm not here. Understand?"

"But... Why?"

"I'll show you soon."

The next day, he carried me to the execution of a serial killer, and that's where I met Old Sparky. I never thought about turning Deb into a killer ever again.

Well, seems I screwed that up big time.


End file.
